Most of the worst things I've ever done have resulted from trying too hard.
I take on too much, refuse to give up, pursue too hard, pile up efforts and then I can't keep all the plates spinning.
This is why a little rabbit died a horrible traumatic death. One of my two French Angoras-Peaches, Plum's mom.
I was treating her for a wound on her foot (and got it healed) resulting from moving the cages to the floor to make it easier for both of them to get outside (which was much better quality of life) at which point she scratched her foot on the edge of the cage. I took her to the vet, got the ointments, applied them and duct taped the edge of the cage. I thought I had I had it dialed.
I didn't sleep well this afternoon; I wanted the bunnies to be outside on this beautiful cool day, and I knew they were sheltered under the tree and the grasses, but I still had nightmare visions of the hawk getting to them.
The dog was dying to be outside in the cool weather, too.
She has attacked the rabbits before. But she also hates being splashed with water, and runs. So I turned on the hose. It kept her away from the rabbits when we first went out. I thought I had the best of both worlds. I got to throw the ball for the dog while the bunnies hopped around in the fresh air.
Then the squirrel ran over the roof. Sunny bolted. I thought I could head her off from the bunnies with the hose, but Peaches bolted in reaction to Sunny's squirrel charge before I got there. Sunny took a hairpin left turn, crawled under the fence and was shaking Peaches in her mouth before I could get to her. I had Sunny pinned on the ground. Peaches was contorted, panting faintly. Plum saw an escape route and wisely sprang for the back field. I had to keep Sunny pinned until Plum was far out of sight before I sent her into the house.
I lifted Peaches, still panting, as delicately as I could, laid her in her cage and ran into the house to call the emergency vet. They don't take rabbits but they agreed to euthanize her to end her suffering. I ran outside with a pet carrier, and found her still. No respiration, no response when I touched her eyes. Her beautiful, big eyes. Rigor mortis had begun within minutes.
I checked Peaches' injury (broken back) wrapped her body in calico and put her in a box and smudged her and sang to her. Then I sat a wept and thought about how I had allowed this to happen.
I take on too much. And a little rabbit, an innocent little animal, paid with her life.
It's time to simplify.