A Geek's Journey Into Brain Cancer; Because No Reasons

Giklda Radner started wiriting her audobiography while she was fighting cancer and wrote the ending ahead of time: that she beat cancer.  That's not what happened, of course. Even my ragingly optimistic Oncologist joked that she didn't have a crystal ball; that led to a riffing session about Magic 8 Balls, which are a LOT funnier.  Favorite Magic 8 Ball answers in the riffing session included:  "''Concentrate and ask again', and 'As I see it, yes'."

To quote Terry Prachett, some people are the types to "stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards!”

And it's funny when those people do actually get struck by lightning-but the joke is on them.

I agree with Monty Python that you should "Leave them laughing as you go,  Just remember that the last laugh is on you."

Anf if you are truly committed, you'll take a pratfall for the joke.

I'm not used to being that brave, but it would be useful.

The only kind of brave I can relate to is the squeeze-your-eyes-shut-and-jump kind, which is not actually based on bravery, but idiot recklessness.  It's the only kind of "courage" I understand.

So while I am not capable of gleaning comfort from the idea that Everything Happens For A Reason (to one raised staunch New England Atheist that is just egotistical hogwash), I do not have an organized Faith to lean on, and I don't believe that The Universe gives a flying fuck about me or my karma, I do take comfort in one certain moment.

That's the moment you squeeze your eyes shut and roll a D20 (FYI, the Magic 8 ball also contains a 20-sided die); it's when you agree to accept your fate.  Nature is the DM, and in that game we're all going to have to Roll Initiative.  Those of us with cancer are no different (unless you want to stretch the metaphor to the screaming point by saying we with cancer have more damage points, but if you're into RPGs by all means have at it).  Every day, for every decision from putting that key in the ignition to deciding between using Roundup or vinegar as a weed killer, we all roll inititive with every decision we make.

I'm just one of those people who needs, even for a nanosecond, to squeeze my eyes shut...