A Geek's Journey Into Brain Cancer, Pt 1

It begins with The Asteroid That Killed The Dinosaurs.

You might see the fiery trails in ths sky shortly before, but it really begins with the shattering of the atmo and the fountain of ocean and land mass in the sky, the deafening explosion, the shock wave that brings you to your knees and has you crawling on the ground, crying out for help in a land where everyone else has been knocked out by the shock.

You are crawling on your belly in the occaionally smouldering muck.  You are alone. Your world is gone.

The future is gone and the NOW is in ruins.

But you are the protagonist.  You can't just lie there.  You struggle to stand up.

Some around you cry out for YOUR help.  The strong ones. though strong, are also shattered.  They limp and squint and stare at you, hoping you'll tell them what you can't tell them.

They hold out bowls of soup to try to make it all better.

You accept the soup with a terse (becuase you are tired) grace (becuase you love them) like the Witcher on a campaign, or like The Mandolorean on a garden planet.  Then you stride on.

You're not completely unfamiliar with disaster so you know some potocols; you proceed to send out distress signals to all your Loved Ones.  Then you wade into the Death Marshes of paperwork, falling into occasional pools of it and wallowing until something makes sense and you get the right phone numbers. 

When you finally sleep it's fitful and haunted by visions of Being Awake During Brain Surgery and also by animations of gliomas blossoming into brain tissue like the thick rhythms of a lava lamp.

You scramble into more Death Paper Marshes, because someone who loves you wants to care for you and you need to set it up to be as easy as possible for them because it's going to be a nightmare for them.  You will need to write them lots of letters to see them through.

You wake up one morning on the foothills of Mount Doom and realize You Are Definitley Fucking Here.  This is where you are now.

You also realize that Your Sam is next to you, and you can forsee his nightmare ahead, and you want to fix it all ahead of time but there isn't time, and you are so tired. SO. Tired.